I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Found the puke drawer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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