2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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