his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
