No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
