drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
