I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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