How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
