I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
