Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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