Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My dick has a subreddit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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