how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
