Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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