were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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