Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
