Did you just see the Batmobile???
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
