I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
