Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
