Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Boobs speak an international language.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
