All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
