I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
