well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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