I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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