just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Found the puke drawer
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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