i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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