I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
