is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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