Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize