i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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