He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
