Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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