We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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