"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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