it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
