brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
