But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize