I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
