but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
