the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
