I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
