If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love having hate sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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