so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
