we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
