I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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