is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
