I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
