found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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