I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
