There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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