See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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