A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dick very happy bro
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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