I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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