Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were destined to go to rehab together
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
