dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
