It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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