Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Randomize
