Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
that is very illegal...i love you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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