I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
