Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
