Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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