I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
