We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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