Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
