dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
