He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
