i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
