nut hugger
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
